Akila Daily

The Sunglasses Effect

2005-06-29T16:04:00.000Z

Next and third laser session planned for this friday.
Everytime Akila thought he was ready to endure it, it ended up more painful than ever.
The second session was a harsh one.
Akila is still dealing with the aftermath, mainly, the lost of accuracy in his left eye, which happens to be the one that hurt the most. Is it a coincidence?

Anyway, Akila has to make up his mind and be man enough to go and bravely undergo the third round. It can't be worse. Somebody said once: "the good thing when you reach the worst, is that it can only get better". Question is: "How do you know when it's the worst?"

The summer time is here. Time to resume wearing T-shirts, soft clothes, dress casual, be fashion ...
Akila recently bought sunglasses for himself. Sunglasses have this special feature, that they always make you look nicer. Wow, it draws everyone's attention when you are passing by.
The merchant was a nice guy, very professional, though his shop only consist in a couple of eyeglasses spread all over a white piece of cloth on a short table. He gets off from his chair under a rather big umbrella whenever a bypasser seemed to show aslight interest in the sunglasses.
He was an average negotiator, mentioning some technical optical issues he was unable to explain to Akila when asked.

Finally, Akila bought it axactly half the inital pricing but yet a bit more than what he intended to pay for sunglasses. Anyway, he was happy to finally have something to shelter his eyes under. While trying it on, across the saturday evening Casablanca busy streets, he came across a friend of his, who said he looked like an actor! He he! Quite flattering! But Akila couldn't help but thinking why it takes so little (sunglasses) to change his look so dramatically (actor).
Now Akila can also remember a few days ago, while going out for lunch, a few steps away from the building's entrance, there was a group of workmen, probably painters, resting and hiding from the blazing sun. While passing by, with his sunglasses on, Akila heard one of them, spotting him and yelling "Mother f...er!!" The sunglasses once again made the difference. What? Being black and having sunglasses on almost automatically turns one into some sort of african american dude, with all that come along : rude language, hip hop lifestyle ...Akila couldn't be angry againt the fellow workman, since the guy is already a pure victim of narrow-mindedness.

Events

2005-06-08T09:15:00.000Z

Akila finally made it to the hospital for his laser treatment. That first session (out of 4) was planned for a friday. The day before he had to rush himself to the insurance company, in order to get the agreement saying they would reimburse the cost of the treatment.
At the hospital that friday morning, around 8 o'clock, there were two ladies and a baby, all three quite ...ahem ahem ... fat. Not to be pejorative, but it struck Akila to see how healthy and chubby and full that baby girl was. She wasn't even old enough to walk.
Akila had to go out for a while and when he came bakc, another group of ladies already came in. Two elderly, around 45 to 50, and tow younger, around 30.
The elderly and one scarf-wearing younger women were chatting and the other one was sitting as quiet as a tomb, holding her head in her hands. So Akila understood that the latter was sick and the rest was there as company.
Regularly, a nurse came to drop some liquid on Akila eyes, in order to swell up his eyeballs and so get the ready for the operation.
It is weird to be in a state like that, where one's sight grows dimmer and dimmer. Akila wasn't even able to read the magazines on the table in front of him after a while.
When, about an hour and a half later, he finally got to the operation room, he was still wondering how it would go. So far he didn't hear screaming from those who went before him. That's comforting.

Well you don't scream, not because it doesn't hurt but because you forehead and chin are firmly stuck in the machine, while the laser beam goes on and off your eyes. Akila was so tense, it reminded him of the time he found himself on the dentist's chair, waiting for some whizzing, spinning and incredibly powerful needles to perform their healing job in his aching, wide-open mouth... what a painful experience. The kind that made Akila always brush his teeth at least three times a day. In order both to keep being healthy and avoid that dreadful dentist's experience!

Back to the ophthalmologist's chair. Akila had to keep on eye open, staring at an imaginary point depending on where the doctor wanted him to point to, when at the same time, the other eye was being thorougly riddles with laser beam. It was a very long 15mn for Akila. Then it was the other eye's turn, and there you go again. FLASH!

With a terrible headache and eyes dazzled by the outdoor summer sun, he had to find a taxi and go home. And quickly heal the bruise before the next session in two weeks.

What's real?

2005-05-20T15:04:00.000Z

Akila has been thinking for a while about this issue: reality. What is it? How is it important to him?
Mental alienation or insanity aren't just when someone has lost the sense of reality?
But aren't we all somewhat alienated since we don't see the same reality?
Akila has had a funny time some days ago with a friend of his, who works in a bank.
This fellow, whom we'll name Y., had been in the same college as Akila, so they spent a nice time reminiscing about the past and nice moments: this old professor that wanted to burn his floppy disks fearing that some evil "virus" might survive formatting, that student that once pretended fainting so that his wanna-be girlfriend would come and cradle him, that other programming professor that just couldn't spell an english word correctly...Those were innocent and great times!
But now Y. has been married for 2 years so far and seems to have some troubles.
Y. would like things to be like in the good old times where he could keep it innocent and do whatever he wanted, without it been overemphasized by some controlling wife. At college, he could sleep late, watching along with next door neighbours, the latest blockbuster which he downloaded the night before from some underground website, or listening to several gigabytes of danceful MP3s and all that not matter the class he was having in few hours. That was freedom!
Now two things take him to bed even from 9PM: his wife and his job!
His old dad was telling him the day following his wedding ceremony: "My dear boy, let me reveal something to you: your wife will one day become your mama, just as your mom is to me now!"
Y. tried to laugh it off but his dad held on: "She's going to become your mama!, I know what I am talking about"
Now Y. can trust his dad, it has come true! Everyday with his wife is like "Go to bed honey, you must wake up early for work tomorrow! " or "Where are you going out again for, honey?" or "I don't like your friend X, he's too ..." and all he can answer is "Yes, honey!" "Ok honey", "Nothing honey" ...
Of course he loves his wife, he wouldn't live without her. But there are just some things he needs to adjust himself with. He has never imagined his marital life to be like that. Not that it's a bad life, it's just different from what he expected. The other problem is, he thought he could say anything to his wife, talk to her about all kinds of subjects...It happens to be quite dangerous to go that way. Like what he was telling Akila, he could never have this kind of discussion with his tender love without her making it a bigger issue than it really is. While he just wants to talk, his wife would compute in her mind and find out that he is not happy with : her, the house, their way of living etc. And she just can't agree with the fact that he's not content with all that he has!
They don't have the same view on the reality of daily life. Many things aren't just what they seem to be to each of them.

His other problem is a bit related to the above, he has no one to talk to. The daily routine has had him dancing on the same tune: work, home, week-end at mama's house (either mama) ...
At work, no time to chat with colleague, no break for a joke, everyone is uptight and only does his job, expecting to grab the attention of some director and receive a promotion in order to leave this small bank agency and move to the headquarters.
Everyone is oh too ambitious to engage in a relationship where they would not reap direct profit.
So it's not the proper time or place to make good friends. No one is real, everyone is playing a game. And not matter how long it lasts, the game will last until there's no more people to play.

There was many other topics in this conversation Akila had with Y. Basically, Y. was very happy to talk again to someone he can be open with. They updated their phone numbers directories and left.

This leaves Akila with a lot to think about about his own life and the things he goes through in his own relatives. Both near and far relatives. A whole lot to think about.

Update

2005-05-16T10:13:00.000Z

It has been more than a week today that Akila has been wearing eyeglasses in front of computers. Sometimes he tries to go outdoors with the glasses on, but then can he hardly walk. Everything outside seems out of range and he stumbles a lot.
Another trouble with his new glasses concerns listening to music while at work. The headset tends to squeeze the ears against the skull, with the frame's sticks in between. This hurts a lot after a short while. Could he ever get used to it? Time will tell.

At the optician

2005-05-05T17:29:00.000Z

Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong, said Murphy.
The first time Akila heard that supposedly true statement, he thought: "This Murphy guy must have been some very pessimistic person!"
Now he tends to agree with Murphy as he reminisced the events this day and the day before.
Just as he thought he had it all in the souk, it all turned out to show him it could be worse.
On Tuesday, the optician took his 20dh frame and said the eyeglassed would be ready the day after, by 5 o'clock.
Wednesday 4.45PM, Akila was at the door of the optician, wondering what his life would be when he starts wearing glasses. He has always considered himself as a no-glass-man, thinking glasses are too much of a hassle in one's life, especially when it falls down and you can't pick it up again. The only type of glasses he's been wearing so far is sunglasses. Yeah, what's cooler than sunglasses, especially in summer? It gives you so much self-confidence! You can look everyone, right in the eyes, without them knowing anything about it. As if you were blind. By the way Akila can remember that time when in some crowded Paris street, aong with Priska, he acted like a blind man with his cool sunglasses and almost ran into some guy in front who started apologizing! That was lots of laugh!
Back in the optician's shop, the guy said: "Sir, I told you to come by 6, not 5!"
Akila went: "What!? We agreed on 5, here I am at 15 to 5. I'll wait if you want 15mn to get my glasses. I am on time! What do you say, I didnt' hear 6 o'clock, but 5! I am sorry " bla bla bla ...
The guy had to admit he was wrong, but wouldn't definitely give Akila his long-awaiting glasses on that day:
"I am sorry, we've just receive the raw material, you know, the glass. We didn't start cutting and shaping it yet"
Then they once again agreed on Thursday at 11 AM.

Next day. Akila preffered to go in the afternoon, to make sure they would have enough time to finish the business. So at 2.45 PM, there he was, right in front of the optician's shop and it was ... closed. Keeping his temper, he asked a neighboring shop "Excuse me madam, at what time does the optician usually open?" - "At 3 o'clock, sir. 3 30 "
Later on, Akila will learn that in fact the optician was open but the shopkeeper was ... sleeping!!
Murphy had it right. Unfortunately enough!

Akila then decided to go get some information at the insurance company located 15mn from there. A little bit past the city most famous fountain and its hundreds of pigeons.
At some point, Akila, noticed a white and yellow stain on his black pull over. What on earth was that again?!? Then he knew some pigeon was to blame for defecating on him!! "Old Murphy, your law is proven right! Now please just leave me alone! "
Hopefully, Akila had a shirt under the pull over. However, at that moment, he would have appreciated having a purse with a mirror inside and check whether there are some more pigeon's excrement in his hair, on the shoulders ... he would never talk bad about woman purse anymore.

Back from the insurance company, the optician was still closed. Akila stayed around and finally at around 3.40, it opened. Then, he went in. Took the glasses. Payed the bill. And ran out.
While saying "Au revoir" to the lady, the optician's assistant, he had to re-assure himself. It's just a salutation, he had no intention to come back there!

Embarrassed in the market

2005-05-03T17:15:00.000Z

Funny stuff always happen at the most unconvenient time. Akila had a bad time yesterday in the most popular market of the city if not of the whole country. Derb Ghallef!
He went there after lunch to buy glass frame. Some colleagues advised him to do so, because you can't get cheaper frames over there, at 20 dh instead of buy top-notch frames, around 850 dh in a shop and wait two months for the insurance company to reimburse around 80% of the cost to you.
Akila only forgot to ask for the right place to get those 20dh frames, thinking it had got to anywhere at all in the souk.
First shop. Akila spent almost 20 mn before finding the right shape and the right frame color: square-edged and black. Of course he had to go through the usual questionnaire: where are you from? Are you a student here? How do you like our country bla bla bla .... Akila always has to refrain putting a poster on his chest with the answers to those questions, so they would just read it and not ask again the same old questions he has been asked for almost a decade now!!!
Well back in the glass vendor shop, the right model is picked, it's time to pay the man. Akila took a 20dh out of his purse and laid it on the desk. The man almost started laughing and said: "What's this?" with an ironic tone in his voice. At that moment, Akila knew he wasn't at the right place. Wow! The confusion is big and Akila had to think quickly in order to negotiate the least humiliating retreat.
You know, sometimes you have to learn some retreat tricks by heart and apply them at the right time. You never know when you'll find yourself in the most embarrassing situation.
Well Akila managed to get out of there. The sun started beaming heavily down on his skull. Or was it just the shame?
Finally at the 20dh- frames spot.
Akila found someone that had a quite good variety of frames. The only problem was ... the guy there. Too talkative! This guy talks to you and in 10 seconds, you are disconnected. You don't get the smallest bit of what he was talking about. But he wouldn't shut it. And to make it worse, he has poor memory. He kept asking the same questions even though Akila already answered him. Of course, he was too busy spitting words out to even catch what his audience is saying to him. Hopefully, other customers came in the scene and he left Akila for the new talk pals.
However, it took Akila another 20 mn browsing through the different models, before finding one that seemed the least far from what he had in mind.
The sun kept beating down on his head! Akila was at the point of fainting. Was it the sun? The heat? The shame? Or the hassle of the popular market? Whatever!
He is not forgetting this crazy day in Derb Ghallef!

Technology

2005-05-02T13:19:00.000Z

20th century has been one that had known the most inventions in the entire human history. Aren 't you glad you witness to and enjoy some the technologies we now have?
Akila has always been fond of technology. Crazy about discovering new things and using them for a better life. Mostly concerning communication. Who never dreamed of super fast communication means after some sci-fi movie? Or flying like Superman on top of buildings? Or being as strong as the incredible Hulk and able to cover long distances in a leap?
Now Akila has been using a lot of different things to communicate with Priska. Oh, nothing revolutionary, just e-mail, short messages, mobile phone, online chat, online phone...
A few years back, these could have sounded like extreme tech breakthrough. Now it's just part of everyday life.
Now Akila is dreaming for more:
-telepathy: a device that can collect human thought, transform it in the form of binary information that is sent through Internet and re-transformed back into thought on the recipient side. What's a thought? It's "mere" electric impulse. So it's do-able. The only hack consists in designing the "thought collector" device.
There is already something that can lead to that: someone invented some months ago, a software that enables the use of a computer only by using the nose as mouse pointer. It's based on a camera that maps your face and moves the mouse according to position of the tip of your nose. Suppose, there is a such software with a dynamic mapping of the face, that allows you to be mobile while using the same functionality. Then, along with a Bluetooth-enabled equipment, you can drive the electronic devices of your home, just by moving your head and "clicking" with the eyes or something. That would be amazing, huh?
Akila is not content with this sole idea that he just had right at this moment. Something is brewing in his mind and he may come up with some crazy thing again in a few time.

Enjoying technology

2005-05-02T12:49:00.000Z

Crazy world

2005-04-29T09:00:00.000Z

There are days like that. When nothing in the world seems to go the right way. Days when you are like in a bad mood...real bad.
Akila had it yesterday. Early in the morning, the news he got from his lover Prisca were no good. No good at all. Both Akila and Prisca have been praying for ... change for a long time so far, but it seems like it only changes to worse.
Did you ever felt like that? Like when you thought you have had it up there, and can't take it anymore, then Bang! Something blows right in the face as if it wants you to know that it's not over yet. More bad stuff are coming.
- It is such a crazy world! Akila sighed, this makes me wanna hibernate for a while, until it's all over. I am sick and tired of this messed life.
Talk about a bad hair day.
By the way, he needs to get his hair cut. It is getting too long and bugging him. This is the kind of things that you have to remind yourself every three weeks. Black hair is such a pain in the butt! Akila has so much to say about that issue. But not now. He didn't forget the bad night tonight. Oh what a night! And what a day today! What a weather! What a life! Akila so longs to utter a loud shout and publish his rant. Desperate, he still has to calm down, because he is not alone in the office, and he could get some colleagues a heart attack or so.
More things to come. Be sure to come back.

Old singer and child's imagination

2005-04-28T08:48:00.000Z

Good morning world! Another day, the same bright sun. It's gonna be a lovely day....like in that one song.
Who knows for sure?
It's a matter of faith.
This morning, Akila woke up with a slight headache. The poor guy went to bed with thoughts of terror and affliction for Akila-Land. There's like a general uproar all over the country. In almost every city.
Demonstration everywhere.
Hundreds fleeing to neighboring countries.
The army and the police are repressing the mob.
Akila even dreamed this night and saw a scene of what is going on on site.
Again dreadful.
He hasn't read the news yet. It's as if he is afraid of what he might read and know.
This morning, then, while waking himself up, there was a show on the radio about a former french singer, Claude François. This guy was a huge star in the 60s-70s. He was awesome. But he died in his bathroom, while on top of his glory. Akila will never forget the influence this guy's death had and still has in his own life. As a child, he used to be told, time and again about the danger and the risks about ... taking a bath.
There was many versions of the facts: the frenchman was electrically shocked or he slipped in the bathroom. It doesn't matter who supported one version or the other. Was it Akila's mom? Was it a neighbour? Did Akila grasped a portion of a conversation about the topic? It doesn't matter. Akila was afraid to death when it comes to take a bath. Oh yes, in the fresh little mind of the 5-6 year-old, any bath could be his last one.
- What a deadly activity! How in the world do we still have to bathe? It's lethal! - Akila used to think at that time.
Well, the little boy learned to live with it. But even as he grows up, he remains strictly careful about this place called ... the bathroom. It happened once, it could happen again. Beware of the bathroom.
Who knows? Being cautious about may have saved his life several times, without he making a big deal of it.
At this point Akila sighed.
A few weeks ago, any metallic part in his bathroom could electrically shock! Anything metal at all! Sometimes, even the switch! Not all the time though, only when there is moisture or when his hand is wet.
But then, can anyone expect anything other than being wet in a bathroom?
Good question to ponder...

It is getting worse in Akila-Land

2005-04-27T15:41:00.000Z

Today, during the news, Akila heard the present death toll of the late violent events. Tens of injured. A dozen dead.
And it doesn't seem to calm down in the coming hours as another political leader stepped up to take over in a ground-breaking declaration.

Akila's wednesday

2005-04-27T11:51:00.000Z

Akila just started a new day. Full of promises? Full of expectations for sure.
Akila has been waiting for some changes in his life for so many years. Radical change. New excitement about daily life. New objectives. Signs of progress along the way.
It is not so yet. Things even seem to be worse.
Akila's home country is in fire, enormous turmoil. Expected massive unrest.
Of course the late events all point to that. No one is surprised by the recent explosion in the capital. But it was like everyone was wanting a miracle. Can it still happen, now that it seems out of control.
Akila can remember the good old times, where his home country was the best place to live on earth. Oh yes, life has not always been like that down there.
There used to be hope for all generations. Especially for the youth.
They knew how to enjoy living there. It really used to be fun, a lot of fun.
Almost every aspect of life was enjoyable. School? It was going great! This people is known to be smart and serious about their intellect. Even worldwide renown. And they were proud of it!
Economy? Oh, not much to worry about.
Quality of life! Just great! It had cetainly got to be the best place on earth, or Akila was blind and seriously mistaken. But one thing was sure, he often reminisced the time he was living at home. The best years of his life so far.
Many plagues have stricken the place. Terrible plagues.
That monstrous disease called AIDS / HIV.
Economical misery leading to social bankrupt. Many families can't afford a living anymore.
The young are leaving the country for a better life somewhere else. Plans of coming back? Not sure! At least for the 5-7 coming years.
Widespread misery.
People dying like flies in hot air.
No hope for the future.
Ni signs of a possible change.
Akila calls this national bankrupt.
A tragedy.
And now, this devastated country is facing the darkest hours of his history. Police and army anre down in the streets against young protesters that are fed with misery and crying for a change.
Change. This word again. Akila's longing. His country's longing. Change for better of course, not for worse. Sometimes, being in a definite quite unhappy stage in life for a long enough time leaves one thinking that any change at all would be better. As if, the happy thing about being low down in the pit is that you just can't go lower.